So we decided that we’re done having kids, we’ve had a few, everything is good, we both agree that it’s time to call it quits. I wanna do the right thing, let her finally get off the pill, whatever, time to book a vasectomy. So I go and see the doc for a referral, they send me off to a place called gentle procedures, now I know that they do circumcisions there and I absolutely hate the idea of it but whatever, I’m a big boy, I’ll suck it up, let’s get this thing done. They do the no needle no scalpel vasectomy, it’s supposed to be the easiest, least pain, fastest healing etc etc.
The day of I’m nervous, as I’d assume everyone is, I go up to the place, go right in and get ushered back to the little room where it’s gonna happen. I’m miserable, nervous, anxious, all of the above, and I’m sitting in this little room by myself for what feels like eternity. Then all of a sudden I hear crying in the next room, I know exactly what’s going on in there and it absolutely breaks my heart cuz there’s nothing I can do about it. My emotions are already running high and then the stress of hearing that really put me over the edge. The doctor came in a while later and we discussed everything, he seemed alright, but was a little concerned because I’d had surgery years ago to correct an undescended right testicle. An assistant came in and prepped me for my procedure, nice guy and all but I was still pretty rattled.
As it turns out, scar tissue from the previous surgery was a major problem, they got my left side with minimal distress and awfulness (as little as can be expected I think). When they went to do the right side the doctor couldn’t seem to get it and I had to endure absolutely excruciating pain as he fiddled around down there trying to get it done. They had to call in another assistant to bring some special tool. I ended up with a 2nd puncture over on that side and after a great deal of misery and suffering got the job done but man, that was not what I signed up for!
The assistant stayed in the room to help me out for a few mins after I was sealed back up and he told me that he’d been a part of thousands of vasectomies over the years and mine was the worst one he’d seen in a long time. Told me there’s no way he’d have been able to stay on the table and go through what I just did. I had dislocated my shoulder a couple years ago and when I got to the hospital that doctor tried to put it back in without any drugs, and I’d do that three times before I went for another vasectomy.
I managed to get my shit together enough to walk out the door and get to the truck to go home but that experience kicked the shit out of me! Thankfully healing seems to be going ok and I should be back in action shortly but it’s gonna take me a long time to get over that day.
I don’t expect anyone to actually still be reading this, just wanted to get it off my chest, maybe feel a little better about it just writing it down.
